2021 Book Roundup

• Since we moved and had to purge a lot of things, I’ve been reading a lot of books on my kindle. Libby is a great app to borrow e-books free from your local library. I bring my kindle if I know I’m going somewhere that I’ll have to wait, so instead of mindlessly scrolling on my phone (which I definitely still do), I’ll bring up the kindle app and get a few minutes of reading.

• Audiobooks!! I’ve been using noise-cancelling headphones to listen to so many audiobooks. You can speed up the reading rate (the fastest I can go is 1.75). Your brain gets used to the faster reading so that normal speed sounds incredibly slow. These are my favorite budget noise-canceling headphones.

December Reads

Even though it was the month of December and I was busy with holiday preparations, I managed to read a ton! To be totally honest, it was probably because my kids were home from school for two solid weeks and I went on a lot of walks with my audiobooks.

The Giver Quartet: The Giver, Gathering Blue,Messenger, and Son by Lois Lowry — I read The Giver in middle school and remembered it to be part thought-provoking, part very disturbing. Now my middle school son was assigned to read it. He got hooked on the whole series, and pulled me in.

One idea that keeps popping up in the books I’ve been reading in the past few months is the idea that productivity equals value. In our culture people are valued for the productiveness that they bring. If they are disabled, a child, or elderly, and they can’t contribute much, they generally don’t hold much value in the eyes of society. It’s the first thing that usually comes up in conversation: “What do you do?” If you don’t “do” something, the conversation stalls out and you end up talking about the weather, if you’re lucky.

The society in The Giver valued productivity to such an exaggerated degree that it can’t help but shine a reflection on us. How can we change this? How can we learn to value people simply because they are, not for what they can do? I believe these questions are at the heart of why our society is slow to embrace those groups who need a little help, whether because of mental illness, disability, or age.

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell — Another book that turned out to be very interesting and thought-provoking despite the topic being something I’d never even thought about before: how trends get started, catch on, and become viral. The book was written over 15 years ago, before the age of social media, and I think an update (or even a companion book) on the same topic would be valuable.

Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez — This book was recommended by a friend. The author was provoked to this topic by the election of Donald Trump in 2016. She asks the questions, “How did a libertine who lacks even the most basic knowledge of the Christian faith win 81 percent of the white evangelical vote in 2016? And why have white evangelicals become a presidential reprobate’s staunchest supporters?” I’ve wondered these same things myself, and after reading her book, it makes a lot more sense. Plus, I gained a healthy wariness of Christian leaders that seem wholesome, but often are harboring ugly sin.

Essentialism by Greg McKeown — One of the best books I’ve read this year. It’s basically a how-to for Marie Kondo-ing your life (rather than your sock drawer). There were many take aways, like “To discern what is truly essential we need space to think, time to look and listen, permission to play, wisdom to sleep, and the discipline to apply highly selective criteria to the choices we make.” After reading this, I cut things out of my schedule and honestly haven’t missed them!

Miracles on Maple Hill by Virginia Sorensen — Another book that I read as a child and loved. Now that I’m an adult, I appreciate so much more about it that I missed as a child. It’s the story of a family who relocates from the city to the countryside of Vermont, as the father is trying to recover from PTSD after World War I (I totally missed that part as a kid!). The family finds peace and healing in the simplicity of being in the country, and Marly gets her dad back.

November Reads

November Reads… It was a good month for reading! About half these titles were read thanks to my new noise-cancelling headphones and the Libby app where you can borrow audiobooks from the library.

Caste by Isabel Wilkerson — I actually didn’t know what this book was about before I started it. I vaguely assumed it was about the Indian caste system, perhaps explaining how the system kept its structure even after immigration to the US (maybe a good idea for a book?). Instead, it was about how racism in America is actually a caste system. Consider this quote: “Caste is the granting or withholding of respect, status, honor, attention, privileges, resources, benefit of the doubt, and human kindness to someone on the basis of their perceived rank or standing in the hierarchy.” It was definitely eye-opening and was a further course in my education on issues of race in our country.

American Sherlock by Kate Winkler Dawson — A fascinating history of the origin of forensics. It was mostly about Edward Oscar Heinrich, a brilliant and obsessive scientist at The University of Berkeley. I found myself equal parts in awe at his genius, but also a bit sad for his neglected family.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Horse and His Boy, Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis — I’ve so enjoyed rereading the Narnia books. I read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a young child, and then the whole series in college fifteen years ago. My experience with reading childhood books over again is that you never really grow out of them, but rather grow into them. I’m amazed at how richer they are after reading them as an adult. I hope to finish the series in this upcoming year.

What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry — I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in the brain science behind trauma. It’s been so helpful in understanding my kids with trauma backgrounds. But anyone with abuse, neglect, and trauma in their childhood will benefit.

The Bomber Mafia by Malcolm Gladwell — I absolutely love learning about things I know nothing about. I’ve loved every Gladwell books I’ve read. I knew absolutely nothing about the air bombing campaign of World War II, and I learned a lot about it. There are some critical reviews for this book, saying it’s long-winded, or pointless. I think it’s an enjoyable read if you don’t take it as seriously as a history textbook.

August Books

August was an interesting month of reading. Even though it was a crazy month, with getting five kids ready for a new school year and also moving my elderly mom out from Connecticut to Idaho. Even so, I had huge portions of time to read (like two 8-hour long flights!)

The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs — This was a random thrift store find. It’s about a man who decides to live according to the Bible – as literally as possible – for a year. I had low expectations, figuring at best t was a lighthearted poke at the hard-to-understand parts of the Bible. But I found parts of it pretty fascinating. I learned about many Jewish rules in the Bible that people still follow today, like the admonition to not mix linen and wool (there is actually an expert in the field who travels to people’s homes and examines their garments to make sure there aren’t any offending fibers.) It was humorous, but also interesting.

The Caregiving Season by Jane Daly — A very encouraging book for anyone finding themselves suddenly thrown into the roll of caregiving for a parent. One of the best I’ve read so far.

The Wild Silence by Raynor Winn — The follow-up memoir to The Salt Path, which I loved. I found myself losing interest in this book. Like a hiker without a destination, it was more of a ramble without a clear objective.

Trying Differently Rather Than Harder by Diane Malbin — A book about the symptoms and strategies for managing behavior of people with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder. We learned just recently that it’s very likely that our 3 adopted children have FASD (and likely my mother as well). I read this book to try to fit in more pieces to puzzle of how to deal with behaviors that don’t respond to typical parenting. Highly recommended for any parent with a child on the FASD spectrum.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir — I almost never read sci-fi, but this one caught my attention because it came highly recommended by someone who also never reads sci-fi. It’s about a man who wakes up from a coma on a spaceship and slowly unravels memory to find his mission objective. There is a type of (space fungus? energy? matter?) that is sapping our sun’s energy, but not Tau Ceti’s, a star which is not being affected by the space fungus and is 12 light years away. He needs to figure it out and send the information back to earth before everyone on the planet dies in a planet-wide ice age. It reminded me of my high school days when I found theoretical physics discussions endlessly fascinating, dreaming of what possibilities lay ahead of us.

Mother Daughter Me by Katie Hafner — I love memoirs. I love learning about other people’s lives and the lessons they’ve taken away from their hard experiences. Since I’m going through my own journey with my mom, I found this memoir especially relevent. Katie’s book is about the year that she, her 16 year old daughter, and her elderly mother move into the same apartment. I was reassured by her description of having to confront her own emotions about her neglectful upbringing. There are so many up and down emotions involved with mothers and daughters, and this book was like chatting with a good friend going through a similar situation as myself.

July Books.

This month was a slow one for reading. I let a lot of distractions get in the way of reading, a mistake I won’t be making again in August!

The Hidden Life of Prayer by David McIntyre — (Audiobook listen for me) Very convicting and great encouragement to keep steadfast in prayer.

At Home in the World by Tsh Oxenreider — I’ve heard about this book for a few years and so was excited to finally read it, especially given how widely it was promoted. I thought it was something like a guide for how people can travel the world with their kids. Or at least would be relatable and inspiring. But in fact, it was clear that Oxenreider’s year of travel isn’t really attainable for ‘normal’ people, even though her writing seems aimed at inspiring others to do the same as she did. The effect was that the reader feels somewhat shamed at not being able to travel while also feeling a bit jealous of Oxenreider’s adventures. I wish the tone of the book was different!

A Life Less Ordinary by Baby Halder — A random find at a thrift store. A memoir about an Indian woman married off to an abusive man at age 12, became a mother at 14, and eventually found the courage to make her own life. She wrote her memoir thanks to the help of a compassionate benefactor who encouraged her to learn to read and write and tell her story. It was a super interesting read, especially since I didn’t know much about this part of Indian culture.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck — I first read this book in high school and found it powerful and sad. But now as a parent of a special needs child, it hit much harder. It’s a very quick read and worth revisiting as an adult.

June Books.

Dusk Night Dawn by Anne Lamott — I love Lamott’s writing so much. Like this quote, “Taking kids outside to love God in nature is just about the most Jesusy thing we can do. Jesus was nearly always outside with His disciples or alone with the stars. To take kids to a beach, even one that is littered, is to bring them to an altar, a big one, surrounded by the blue-gray ocean billowing outward like a skirt, flecked with sunlight, like foil or diamonds.”

Elsewhere by Rosita Boland — Recently I’ve realized that one of my favorite genres is travel memoir, and this is one of the best I’ve read. It’s a shame it isn’t more popular (searching for the title on Amazon brings up about twenty hits, none of which are this book, weirdly). Boland absolutely loves words and travel… Her introduction is about Fernweh, a German word that means “the ache of not being in foreign parts, a desire to travel, an ache for distant places”. Each chapter is a different travel adventure paired with some amazing word like Eleutheromania (“an intense desire for freedom”). Besides her adventures, she also shares about her disappointment in losing her dream of motherhood, and learns to accept herself and be content with her life.

Prayer by A.W. Tozer — I always need encouragement in the area of prayer. This book is made of excerpts from Tozer’s other books or sermons on the topic of prayer, along with commentary and reflection. Each chapter is bite-sized enough to work well as a devotional. Tozer’s idea is that prayer should be a way of life, woven into the very fabric of every detail of our day. He writes “Some churches now advertise courses on how to pray. How ridiculous! That is like giving a course on how to fall in love.” It’s a book I will likely be rereading through the years.

Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski — This book is so good, and so dense that I could only read it in bite-sized chunks over a few months. I read it on Kindle and have so many highlights in all the chapters that I might as well have just highlighted the whole book. It’s like your own therapist in a book who walks you through things like how to overcome trauma and completing the stress cycle so it doesn’t get stored in your body. I didn’t love the overly-feminist attitude of the book, but it was good besides that.

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski — Examines new scientific discoveries that show how women feel about their bodies directly influences sexual satisfaction. Biggest takeaway: You’re not broken. You’re normal. Now let’s try using what we know about women’s brains and bodies to make sex better. I found this book very helpful (though I’ll keep the specifics to myself!) I’d always felt like parts of my intimate life were broken, and someday I’d get around to figuring out how to fix them. But they’re not, and I’m not. I’m normal!

Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons — I first read this book years ago as a much younger mom and just reread it this month with a foster/adoption group I’m in. It was only in rereading it that I realized that this book helped create many of the renewing habits I use today. Things like taking a walk to clear my head, having a calm morning routine to get my mind ready for the day, practicing Sabbath, clearing extra junk out of my day and my life to make more space for my passions. Some of the suggestions are obvious, but I think it’s helpful sometimes for someone else to point out the obvious and give an extra little kick in the right direction.

May Books.

The Salt Path by Raynor Winn — A memoir about a husband and wife who lose their home and get a terminal diagnosis in the same week. They decide to drop everything and hike England’s South West Coast Path, some 640 miles. It was an interesting read, especially her descriptions of nature and camping.

The Ministry of Ordinary Places by Shannan Martin — It was highly recommended by a few trusted sources, but I had a really hard time with this book. The author uses a lot of words without saying very much. As much as I love authors like Anne Lamott for their candor and down-to-earth writing, authors like Martin leave me confused and annoyed.

Pull of the Stars by Emma Donoghue — About a Dublin maternity ward nurse in 1918. This would have been a great timely historical fiction about nursing during the Spanish Flu if the author hadn’t pulled a random woke climax out of a hat at the last minute. The climax was so out of place that it seemed like the author set out to write a completely different ending, but was influenced at the last minute to make the book “relevant to the times”.

Shadow of the Almighty by Elisabeth Elliot — A fascinating look into Jim Elliot’s life through his own journals and letters. It is so convicting and encouraging to read about such a young person having a strength of faith far beyond his years.

April Books.

Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad — a memoir about a young woman’s four-year-long struggle with cancer and then the challenge of figuring out life after cancer. It was informative to learn about the ongoing, daily struggle of a cancer patient. I have a friend who currently is receiving cancer treatment, and I think this book has helped me be a more empathic friend and know how to support her, even if it is long-distance support. Jaouad had the support of her family and their very generous insurance. I am interested to read a cancer memoir from someone with less emotional and financial support, which I think would be more in line with most people’s experience.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman —This was one of those books that is so good it can bring in someone like me who isn’t normally a fan of the genre (fantasy fiction in this case). It drew me in with its universal theme of growing up…. of memory, growing up, and the desire to belong to a place. I’m likely going to reread this one someday just to uncover some more themes I probably missed.

Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis — A must-read for any C.S. Lewis fan, it’s his autobiography of his early life. I’m not sure how I missed it all these years!

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom and Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn — I read these books at the same time, The Hiding Place through Audible and Becoming Elisabeth Elliot on Kindle. Sometimes reading similar books concurrently can reinforce themes in both of them. It really struck me how similar these two women were. They both had an unwavering love and obedience to Christ, even in the most crushing circumstances. What extraordinary examples of faithful women they both are! They are an encouragement for all Christian women.

March Books.

March Books

Gentle and Lowly by Dale Ortlund — Probably one of my favorite parenting books. It’s not about parenting at all, but it has helped me tremendously as a parent. It’s taught me how to be a more patient parent to my children by showing in detail throughout the Bible how much patienct, mercy, and grace God has with His children. It’s definitely a book I will be rereading annually.

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis — Based on the myth of Cupid and Psyche, this is a book that was hard to push through, but it was worth it. C.S. Lewis shares his philosophy on envy, betrayal, and love. I love his books because they are so rich with ideas that often make me just stop mid-page and think about what I just read. One of my favorite quotes I’ve read in a long time came from this book, about longing for death not out of despair, but out of joy, a hope that somewhere a better place than this one exists and we will go there someday.

Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott — I love Anne Lamott so much for her honest writing. She doesn’t pretend to have everything together, but simply invites her readers into her messy life, and writes in a way that makes you feel less weird about your own messy life. Traveling Mercies was all about her journey to faith in Christ and her thoughts on hypocrisy in faith.

Girls on the Edge by Leonard Sax — The subtitle of this book is Why So Many Girls Are Anxious, Wired, and Obsessed – and What Parents Can Do. This book was good at pointing out the areas that we as a culture our failing our daughters: sexualization, chemical exposure, too much technology/social media – and what we can do as parents to protect them from growing up too fast, both literally and figuratively (enforce modesty, change their diet, limit technology). I always love Sax’s parenting books because he encourages parents to apply their authority for the well-being of our kids. To hesitate our authority is to put our children at risk.

February Books.

I always have at least three books going at a time, but usually as many five or six. I read a few minutes from each one every day, and by the end of the month it really adds up! This month I cut back my internet time and (shocker) had so much extra time to read. I even splurged on a kindle/audible combo for one book so I could switch back and forth between them as time allowed.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine – by Gail Honeyman — I actually thought this was another book when I started reading it. Then I thought I knew where the story was going. But it ended up being a completely different story than I thought it was going to be at the beginning. It’s about a woman who slowly unravels the trauma of her childhood, makes peace with her past, and grows into a mature friendship.

The Nesting Place – by Myquillyn Smith — I’m in the middle of packing, purging, and taking the opportunity of a new nest to make some fresh changes. So I’m on the lookout for ideas for creating cozy, comfortable space in our new home. The author has lived in 14 homes in 18 years, so she knows about creating a home out of a house. Biggest takeaways: Limitations are a good thing. Things like a small budget, or a weird house layout, or a rental home that you can’t change are good things. Having too many options can be paralyzing. Every home has potential, if you just embrace it.

Welcome Home – by Myquillyn Smith — More about making a home stylish and cozy, but more focused on minimalism and using each season to inspire style.

The Dutch House – by Ann Patchett — A story about a brother and sister and the huge, elegant house they grew up in until their father died and their stepmother kicked them out. Together they navigate adulthood, relationships, and ultimately forgiving their estranged mother. I listened to this on Audible (read by Tom Hanks) and enjoyed it. There isn’t much of a plot, so it’s one of those books where you listen to people’s thoughts about life. I happen to love this kind of book, but I know it drives some people crazy.

The Collapse of Parenting – by Dr. Leonard Sax – My favorite read of the month. Key points: 1. Teach kids humility. They are not the center of the family (some of my people need this reminder!) 2. Conscientiousness and self control are the best predictors of adult success 3. Enforce good habits, don’t wait for your kids to want to do the right thing. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” This book was a much needed course correction for our parenting.

Brain-Based Parenting: The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment – by Daniel A. Hughes — High recommended by adoption specialists. This one took me all month to read because of how dense it was, but it was well worth it. It helped me understand a lot about attachment dynamics and had a lot of helpful advice for dealing with challenging behaviors.

Share Your Stuff, I’ll Go First – by Laura Tremaine — A guide to being a more open friend and inviting others’ stories into your life. I’m super introverted and usually think people don’t care so much about what’s going on in my life, but according to Laura, when you ‘share your stuff’ it invites others to share their stuff, and deeper friendships are the result. Thanks to the pandemic I haven’t had the chance to test out this theory yet, so we shall see.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe – by Fannie Flagg — Just like the movie but so much better.