Life as an Education.

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain

My oldest son is 13. He just finished up 8th grade last week and he’s already started on his freshman year through online high school. He’s eager for the next exciting chapter of life.

He has been homeschooled exclusively since … well? I want to say since kindergarten, but really his education began much earlier than that. It has its roots in the toddler who dug holes and made rivers in the sandbox. In the boy who stacked bricks leftover from a yard project into tall structures. We read lots of books, watched bugs, and made pancakes and bread together.

When school did officially start in kindergarten at age 6, it was an event hardly worth noticing. We would do some counting work, practice writing letters, and maybe a craft once a week. That lasted about 30 minutes a day, which even then was pushing his 6-yr old attention span. And to be honest, there were many days we didn’t even do this. Many days were simply spent outside. Children don’t necessarily have to ‘do’ school every single day to leap forward in their learning. The hard thing is getting our busywork out of the way so they can do the real learning.

This ‘method’ was born a little bit out of a philosophy of education that says that children should have short, focused lessons when they are very young and plenty of time to play. But it was also born in large part because he was a very active, emotional, hyper kid. In other words, a normal boy.

As his attention span, his abilities, and his curiosity grew, our lessons grew a little longer, but still not by much. It wasn’t until about 5th grade that his assignments ramped up slowly. I gave him some say in what books he read for science and history, and made sure he wrote a paragraph every day summarizing something he’d read that day. By this time “school” took him a solid 2.5 hours, including music practice, math, reading, and handwriting.

It was around this time that we took an entire year off. It was the year our foster daughter, then one-and-a-half, spent a month in the intensive care unit at Stanford Children’s Hospital as a result of an E. Coli infection. Then she got diabetes and we all needed to learn how to care for her. Then I found out I was pregnant and had about four months of near-constant exhaustion and intense mood swings.

That year our school was beach days, audiobooks, and nature walks. We did nearly nothing in the way of “real school”. And yet, when I felt well enough to resume a bit of structure and we resumed our lessons, I found that he hadn’t missed anything at all. He ‘caught up’ quickly in math (in quotes because, caught up to whom?). And when he took his first standardized test (the Iowa Assessment) just a year ago, he tested above grade level in nearly all subjects.

The middle school years were preparation for high school: He had even more say in the books he read. (One of his science books was What Einstein Told His Cook: Kitchen Science Explained, perfect for a young physics lover who enjoys cooking.) I think because I listened to his interests, he was more willing to read the books I’d place on his stack. He learned how to budget his time. Look online for answers to math questions when they weren’t readily apparent. Persevere through a very difficult math concept. School was challenging, but he was mature enough to accept the challenge. Schoolwork took him about 3-4 hours a day.

As I reflect back on these nine years of homeschooling my son, I don’t wish we did more. In fact, I wish I’d pushed a little less and had a little more patience. I wish I could have dropped the guilt of “not doing enough”, because now I see that we did just enough. I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to watch the process of this squirrelly little boy of mine flourish into a young man ready to take charge of his own education.

If your kids are just wrapping up their school year and you’re considering what the world will look like as they head (maybe) back to school in August, consider homeschooling. It’s a suprisingly wonderful experience. It’s difficult at times, but so full of joy as you and your child grow and learn together.

Some books to inspire:

The Call of the Wild and Free: Reclaiming Wonder in Your Child’s Education by Ainsley Arment

For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer MacAulay

The Unhurried Homeschooler by Durenda Wilson

Naming Nature.

Given the gift of extra time these last several shelter-in-place months, I’ve grown closer to nature. I’ve found myself with the time and mind-space to start learning the name of the wildflowers, insects, and other critters I come across. It sounds nerdy/silly, but I have a special joy when I trot down a trail and can name every flower I pass. On a recent walk, Mark asked why I learn their names.

Why indeed should we learn the names of the creatures and life around us?

To learn a thing’s name is to know it. And when you know its name, it’s hard but to have respect for its Creator. For me, learning the names of wildflowers and critters I come across during my hikes or gardening is an act of worship. Acknowledging that everything has a place is to be conscious of its purpose in this world. Every Sticky Monkey Flower and Western Blue Skink I come across fulfills its purpose simply by glorifying God their creator.

Screen-Free Week.

This past week was a week of No’s – no sugar for us parents, and no screens for the kids. Both were impulsive decisions late Sunday afternoon, and both were made as a result of overindulgence these past few months.

Going screen-free was painful the first day or so, but the kids figured out new things to do with their time. Instead of a show first thing in the morning, they went outside and checked on their garden and danced in the rain. Instead of asking for a show during quiet time (a bad habit I’ve slowly let them slip into), they used wooden blocks to make stalls for their horses and set up a “bookstore” to be patronized by siblings after quiet time.

There were a few rare exceptions to the screen-free week, like when Katie had a 3-hr long assessment via Zoom on a rainy day and older siblings’ availability to babysit was limited. Even then, the kids still spent a good part of the time outside.

What have I learned as a parent during this week? Not to underestimate the creativity and resourcefulness of children when given plenty of time to be bored. Most often it’s my lack of patience to deal with a little bit of front-end whining that leads me to turn on the TV, when what’s best for my children is to give them the gift of free time.

Metamorphosis.

Nothing prepared me for the metamorphosis that has begun in my oldest son. He’s 13 and growing constantly. Deepening voice, arms and legs that seem to not quite belong to him. He now stands a head taller than me. He’s trying on grownup ideas. Watching us closely and questioning. Detecting any hints of hypocrisy in our actions, inconsistences in the things we’ve taught him over the years.

Some delightful surprises are the conversations we’re having about life: what it means to be a man, to be a protector and provider for a family. How to spend money. How to choose a career path. And a new phase of maturity, a desire to do the right thing, even if the practice isn’t quite perfect.

If I could have glimpsed this lanky capable son of mine back when he was still a 7 yr old sprite, how much patience I would have summoned, knowing what laid in store for him!